The One with....My Big Mouth.

It is the time of the month, and normally this is when i like to be indoor so that i wont hurt other people's feeling with my sarcasm. One thing that amazed me about hormon is when it can automatically changed every 28 days circle. One day im a cheery lady and the next day im a nasty old bitch. Perhaps, some of you will ask me what i meant by what i said earlier. Normally gals will understand my point straight away and guys....hmmm...it will a long journey understanding the whole point.

You see, when im having my period i feel really lazy, as in, i hate to move because movement sometimes can be very uncomfortable. With something dripping out from me, all gooey and messy, who would want to have fun?! I rather stay indoor because i dont want to go out and worry whether i'll get stain on my jeans and pants. Besides, i get really sluggish, like i feel so tired that i only want to sleep, curl under my blanket and just shut myself in my room. The tiredness im talking about is not just about physically tiredness but more on mental and emotional stress.

Most people wont understand why gals tend to be emotional during this time but i do. It is beyond our control. I eventually tend to hurt people who are closed to me during this time. Hurt their feelings that is! For instance, lately some guys frens became so bold with their suggestions. Not once but often they would look at me as someone who is easy and cheap. That was kinna hurt actually. All i want is for people especially guys to see me more than what i can physically offer. This scares me to death! So, i wanted to share this thought with someone i like, and i think he took it personally. Once i realized what i've said, i wished this earth split up and swallow me into the Middle Earth so that i can be 'frenly' with that ugly Smeogal/Gollum or whatever his is called. I was ashamed of what i said but my intention was good. I just wanted him to see things from my point of view but yeah...its difficult.

So, when i woke up this morning, i told myself that i ought to apologize and clear the air. How im gonna do it, im not sure but im certainly gonna do it even if i have to 'belanja' him 10 glasses of 'teh tarik kurang manis'. So, i hope he'll be ok and if he happens to read this, i just want him to know that i admit that i was a bitch and whether he likes it or not, this is me everytime im having my period. So, next time, i better hide further inside my cave and hibernate! Im truly sorry and I wish i can say "i wont do it again" but i know i will. But one thing im proud of myself is, i realized that this is one of my flaws and im learning to take control of it. I hope, as years pass...i'll be aware of what my body needs everytime a situation arise so that i wont hurt more feelings.