The One with....Friendship

We grow up believing that friendship is a crucial part of life. As children, teenagers and then adults we hold to that notion pretty much tight. For me, having gone through so many phases of friendship in my 31 years of life, the knot that brought us together evolved slowly as much as needs allowed us. I remember the essence of friendship when i was just a kid and comparing it to that very much evolved definition when i was into my 'pimple-frizzy hair-chubby' teenhood.

When i was in the primary school, friendship is more to having someone to play hopscotch with and even someone to accompany me to the toilet or the teacher's office. But, i rather say that friendship at this age is so pure and innocence. I dont have much doubt or suspicion on my friends and i dont get that jealous to any of them.

As i get to the secondary school, things started to get pretty much well-defined. Friendship is 'the freak','the nerd', 'the glamorous', 'the beefy dude', 'the dont-u-even-think-of-it' and of course 'the teacher's pet'. Well, i didnt really which group im belong to because i was neither anything in the list, but friends came from all. However, it was really hard to stick to that i-dont-belong-anywhere thingy because as i went out with this group of friends the other would simply glared at you. All in all, i have to say that i dont really have best of friends when i was in school.

College years once again redefined friendship. Away from family, friends had become my closest of everything. Not all, but many did. And many still.

The One with.....Facebook

It has been awhile since i last composed here. I was kinna busy adapting to new life and my addiction to Facebook. Freaky actually because i've been hiding so well so far than being discovered by my fellow mates, then Facebook eventually entangled our paths once again.

I was having this confusion whether i should remain invinsible to these people and lead my life as it is or walk back the memory lane. Honestly, i'm scared of my past especially of the days when i was totally a different person. I've changed 360 degree and become someone else. Yeah, i wasn't this pathetic back then before i took the wrong turn of my life. I was cheery and chubby gal with the lovable attitude, forgetable face and just plain Jane who didn't really think that people can be so full of s***.

When these people saw me in Facebook, they didnt recognize me for some reasons. Maybe, they have this content life that seeing an old face is just an instant comparison of before and after, how many lines in the face ones got or even how many pounds he/she has added throughout the years. I guess i did the same thing too. I went through their album and counted the children they have, how their husband's look and where they go for vacation. In a way, i started to see how my life has turn about.

I've wasted so many years searching for things i didnt get at the end. Looking upon where i am now, im a homeless with a house and alone within a crowd. I'm scared of myself. What will you anybody do, if they are in my shoes? I realized one thing though, i need a big sincere hug and someone who is going to say that everything is gonna be ok because i'm really scared and i dont know what to do.

The One with.....His Name Hidden Somewhere

Harbour your love in my sea of hope
As dawn sees the blended colours of joy and
Rising sun greets our joyful reunion
Rendering the thoughts of future
Immaculating littlest details and
Smiling all the way....