The one with.......Mom's SMS

I love my mom dearly! How can i not love her for every single things she did for me. I miss her and sometimes, i just closed my eyes and imagine seeing her face. Her fair skin, her wrinkled eyes, her smile and the way her eyes shine everytime she laughed. But like normal mother-daughter relationship, we argue alot...over so many things. My dad used to tell me that we fight because we have so much in common. Maybe he was right!

I'll be celebrating my 31st birthday soon! And i treated myself a fishing trip with Paerot. I needed to unwind anyway.. Trying to find that inner peace and clear my mind of several things. I was hoping that after this trip, i can see things differently and starts to strategize my life. On my second day at the Kelong, i received an sms from mom. I was shocked and bewildered and i said to myself...nope...this is definitely not from mom!!

The sms, "Sweetie, recite surah Al-Yusuf for easy jodoh and perform solat hajat on your birthday!". You might ask me, what so weird about this sms...well....*sigh*....

Throughout my 30 years, mom never ask or talk about this...about we sibblings getting hitch. It is never a topic in our family. Most of my cousins married late, nobody in the family ever ask us the one million dolar question unlike other family. There is no family pressure when it comes to this issue. Now, back to mom's sms, this is the second time the issue rose...the first time was when we were driving to Sibu to do some shopping back 5 months ago. Mom asked my sister and i whether we have any boyfriend which traumatized both of us throughout the journey. This is not Mom! Even my sister put on that stupid face and none of us gave her the answer and the topic was forgoten easily.

When mom came last november, she asked me about Dino, i told her about the messy break up. The case was again closed. Until the sms that i received recently. she worried about me? Is she sad the was i was treated...with Arep and then Dino? I cried all the way from JB to KL thinking about her. Deep down i knew she was sad and i knew she cried too. When she called, she pretended she never sent me that sms but i knew her worries. What turned her this way? Im worried and love her even more.

Mom, if you happened to read this, i just want you to know that I love you so much. I know you dont want me to get hurt anymore. I know you want me to stop crying. I know you want me to be happy. I know you worried about me...about how i take care of myself. Please mommy, dont worry! I'll be happy one day. I'll find someone who is honest and sincere. Pray for me..and please mom...stop worrying. I'm a big baby, remember!....I wish i can hold you now. Gosh....Nakk nangis rasanya... I just want my mom to be happy!...