The One with ..... Academics Decision...

Where does a story start? I've always wonder about this. But, whatever it is, it doesnt really matter to most of us. Ive been having difficulties sleeping lately, so i went to the doctor. Funny, tho! He asked me, " Did i hear anything or see anything (...like halucinating)...I was just so dembstrucked and answered, "I wish, doc. Otherwise i wont be so bored staring at the wall all by myself!.

Well, the truth is, i do know the cause of my sleeplessness. I'm just bored! 4 months here and im running out of things to do. I dont read, i dont do things....and i dont write as often. My brain cells are getting bored as well. I borrowed few novels from my cousins which i read in a day. And my mum was going crazy over the thought of her going over and over again to my cousin's house to borrow some books for me. I remembered when i first came here... I've tried every recipes in the book and i sew anything that can be used, now...i have ran out of things to do. And im totally, overly depressed over "nothing". ~sigh~

I need to find new focus to distract me of everything that's going on ion my life latelt. And here i am, i a CC full of kids and blastling music...(...hell...didnt these people ever go to the club and what...) some people...(me)...need that peace and quiet to get into the mood of creative writing...which seldom happen. So, what happened today is basically clicking and clacking over emails...and Facebook....and Tagged...and finding some information on some academic courses...that is Psychology.

Talking about Psychology, i always am fascinated by the subject and i have very good research sample at home and think....why cant i used what i have and excel in it. It is not that im married and busy. And this is the right moment to further my study.. So, i decided to register for a course in Psychology which will start next May. By then, i guess, i'm already employed and earn enough to feed everyone...pay for the car mortgage and...pay the bills. Urggghhh.....

I was checking on some Communication courses as well but there are too.....speedy for me.... and im tired of all those speediness. I guess Psychology hits me right...

The One with....Issues

We were watching an Indonesian film called "Ayat-ayat Cinta" during raya. A beautiful film indeed and i wud recomend everyone to watch and understand it. I silently cried at the back row of living room full of family and relatives (sucks!) but hey....it was a sad, meaningful movie to watch. I even remembered a few line, "...now i know the difference between LOVE and the desire to OWN..."...aaarghhh..plain tearsucker.. I guess, there is a truth in the line....especially in the case of relationship (which im terrible in..)

AAC is about sacrifices women willing to make but here, it is in the perspective of Islam. What do we understand when it comes to polygamy and relationship in Islam's p.o.v. It is also about the hukum of fitna and ones believe in Allah, of faith and destiny, of what religion is about. It is simple but it seems like we, human, failed to understand the underlying meaning of each line of commanment.

Another line reads, "...sedar dan ikhlas..." means aware and sincere in receiving Allah's test. Yeah....i am in the midst of understanding what He is given me now and slowly accepting it as my faith. I'll take care of His ehsan because unconsiously, this is what i want all this while. I guess i have to be very careful in things that i'll wish in the future.

Dear friends, this blog is not about my failure in relationships, or about how pathetics i am in making choices but it is my revelation on life. I hope from now on, this shall be read with more thoughts...thank you.